Euro-Chat with China Canceled

 

China Cancels Summit with EU's Foreign Affairs Minister Borrell || Peter Zeihan

In my comic-lite Opera The Prodigals of Pennance, the EU Leadership describes itself as a "Fellowship that Practices Follow-ship." Peter Zeihan gives a similar description.

Then there's China, where the leadership locked the fellowship in a prison ship -- the expected result of an anti-corruption campaign where everyone is corrupt. Now Xi stands alone and likes it that way. He's the Hermit at the Helm: the Great Hermit Helmsman -- whose compass has gone kinda crazy. His plans are grand but the mood is petulant.

If you're going to be "the drunk" at the garden party, then don't go to the garden party.

Poor Wandering Wonderer -- True Love Built on Lies.

Act II, Scene 1, of the Prodigals of Penance. Act I, Scene 1, is here.

I continue my foray into Comic Lite-Opera Reality. The work is now the attempted merger of Hamlet and Blazing Saddles (with a bit of Pinocchio thrown in), done in the spirit of Gilbert and Sullivan! Below, Sad Poppins mentions the Piltdown Man, an evolutionary "missing link" bone hoax that dragged on for 40 years. Hamlet sings of the Kinsey Report, a human sexuality study so flawed that even Wikipedia has a hard time defending it.

The story so far: The World Leaders and hangers-on have danced offstage. Hamlet Omlet and Sad Poppins are about to further their relationship. Hamlet has uncovered many flaws in the "science" funded by Artful Shortseller, the world's richest man. He senses the real purpose of his grant is to "paper over" the inadequacies he's found. Sad Poppins feels it would be best if he fulfills his role and, what the heck, just cash the check.

ACT II, SCENE 1: Poor Wandering Wonderer.

(Shrotseller's Estate: SAD POPPINS stands alone in the garden. HAMLET OMLET enters, walking in a seeming trance.)

HAMLET OMLET

They've created such a racket,

I can hardly work.

And my work...is hardly...worth it.

SAD POPPINS (watching him, sings)

Poor Wandering Wonderer

Wondering Where to Wan-der!

You don't think like the rest.

Your head is a mess,

So full of thoughts --

They drip out like snot...

(approaches Hamlet)

You are the studier of studies.

Who studies, the studies, in Shortseller's study.

Your task is incomplete--

HAMLET OMLET

Like rain turning to sleet.

(steps towards her)

And you're the activist child.

The bold little scold,

With the winning frown.

SAD

I thought the world would let me down.

The Earth, not be around.

But as I've grown

(shows herself off a bit)

Into my own --

I found it really weird!

The planet, you see, is still here!

HAMLET OMLET

By eliminating the Earth,

With all its dirt,

We could eliminate our fears.

(thoughtfully, strolling)

Or we could simply go extinct,

And no longer have to think.

SAD POPPINS (following)

Poor Wandering Wonderer

Wondering Where to Wan-der.

You don't think like the rest.

Your head is a mess.

So full of thoughts

They drip out like snot.

HAMLET OMLET(distressed)

I simply cannot lie.

It is just too hard to disguise.

When I fabricate,

Right out of the gate,

(indicates his groin area)

It gets hard!

As the tension goes up,

My ha-ha-heart thumps!

(pounds his chest)

The blood in my veins

Feels the added strain.

The blood my heart pumps 

Flows into my consider-able stump!

 

And it grows, grows, grows --

Like some elongated nose,

Or an acorn into an oak.

It happens at a stroke!

It's not just unseemly, you see,

But po-tential-ly!

Most un-semen-ly...

(walks)

Yes, I'm stilted...

By this pilted...

Woody, wood-pecker.

SAD POPPINS (injects)

Like Pinocchio in a pinch.

Or, the Pilt-down Man!

A "find" that was a Scientific Scam -- 

With the wrong bone

In the wrong place:

A most potent -- disgrace. 

HAMLET OMLET

Lying's not a sport,

Like some Kinsey Report.

Whenever I lie,

(indicates his groin, distressed)

It gets hard against my fly!

I can't lie, I can't lie, I can't lie.

(walks)

SAD POPPINS

Oh, Poor Wandering Wonderer,

Woody in a wood of lies!

I am sorry for you!

'Cause your own sorrow won't do.

You don't think like the rest.

Your head's such a mess.

So full of thoughts,

They drip out like snot!

(thinks, taps his shoulder)

If only you were a woman.

The problem with your wood

Would disappear!

If only you could,

Eliminate the wood!

HAMLET OMLET

That sounds fantastic,

but just...a little...drastic.

SAD POPPINS (agrees)

Sub-optimal, yes,

But if you just wore a dress...

You could easily skirt the truth.

Or turn your back,

On in-convenient facts.

But still...

HAMLET OMLET

I'll wear a kilt!

I could present an address...

In a kilt, not a dress.

I could turn my back,

As I speak with great tact,

Over...my...shoulder?

SAD POPPINS

Here's an act -- that's bolder.

(Takes his hand)

Simply lie with me!

If you lie with me,

Your lies will be disguised, by me!

You simply pretend

We're in love, without end!

In Love with a fire,

Of burning -- lustful desire.

And: 

No one will be the wiser.

We could lie, lie, lie, together.

No one would know any better.

 

HAMLET OMLET(confused)

In truth, I am getting woody.

I should return to my studies.

I could be me-too'ed

Because I am woody for you...

I really can't lie...

As I look into your -- lovely, eyes...

(turns)

But I fear my career --

Could dissolve in your tears.

(walks away)

SAD POPPINS (follows him)

Poor wandering woody one!

What wonderous lies lie ahead!

Don't fear for your career.

You'll be a believable steer, 

If you lie, lie, lie -- with me.

(Sounds from off stages)

DANCING BANKERS

Hrumph, Hrumph -- Hrumph, Hrumph, Hrumph.

SAD POPPINS

You cannot stay.

Artful Shortseller

Is on his way.

We'll meet after dark.

HAMLET OMLET

And wonderful lies

We can con-cock!

Con-con, concoct. 

(As Hamlet Omlet leaves, Artful Shortseller enters).

ART SHORTSELLER (to the audience)

He's such a poor liar.

He needs to retire.

My estate is built

On a house of cards.

One jilt from that joker...

And...

 

Oh, forsooth and forsaken!

My empire shaken!

Imagine, a jerk like that,

Bringing about my total collapse!

I suppose he would say,

He means well, OK.

Well, I have a "mean well"

For him.

(maniacal laugh, steps to the side for...)

DANCING BANKERS (Marching on stage)

Hrumph, Hrumph -- Hrumph, Hrumph, Hrumph.

ART

Now the Bankers want their say.

They mean well, too,

It should be a tattoo. 

Let them implore.

I'll ignore.

ACT II SCENE 2

(The Central Banker leads The Dancing Bankers on stage. They are dressed for the Beach. The Central Banker gets a little rough treatment from the others. He's shoved to center stage.)

CENTRAL BANKER (addresses the audience)

This is The World Conference...

That will Solve...

Your Problems...

In One Foul Swipe.

(speaks clearly)

You see, all your problems are ours;

All our problems are yours.

And you are our problem.

(Indicates the surroundings) 

We're at the home 

Of the World's Richest man.

Artful Shortseller's estate, Eden!

 

DANCING BANKERS (An echoing murmur)

Eden, Eden, Eden...

 

CENTRAL BANKER 

It's his own state!

An island all its own.

An island that he owns. Eden.

 

DANCING BANKERS

Eden, Eden, Eden...

 

CENTRAL BANKER

I'm the Central Banker,
I don't get many thanks
When the other banks

(indicates the others)

Need a spank:
That Great Current of Currency,
Upon which they depend --
Is Currently Curtailed!
If not totally at an end. 
It flowed through their vaults
And its lack, now felt, is my fault

  

(The band picks up with a thumping, almost pounding, beat. The Dancing Bankers surround the Central Banker. They sing to the tune of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band)

World Class Dancing, Banker Band

THE DANCING BANKERS (To the central banker, with loud reproach)

It was a hundred years ago!

When you really did steal the show!

People's money was never the same,

As you played your curren-cy game.

When interest rates you amend

To bring easy money to an end... 

After we've done so much good,

By gutting their neighborhoods!

We're the World Class Dancing, Banker Band!

CENTRAL BANKER (to the audience)

Their Animal Spirits were on a lark,

But the funny-money, once in "drive,"

Is now in "park."

THE DANCING BANKERS (Explaining)

We're good citizens of the World!

With finances in a swirl.

Speculators cause much pain,

As their loans go down the drain.

So now we're il-liquid.

Lacking the reserves, we should...

(to the central banker)

So we want you to understand,

We'd like you to give a hand...

To the Empty Pockets, Bankster, Bah-an-d!

 

CENTRAL BANKER

They want to restart the game.

With me providing the gains...

a-gain.

The losses we'll spread about,

Like lots of vacant shops. 

(The Dancing Bankers push the Central Banker out of the way.)

CENTRAL BANKER

Don't Panic at the Picnic!

(The orchestra is back to horn tooting)

DANCING BANKERS (Pace quickens, to the Audience, upset)

With those problems, you're on your own!

So kindly get off the phone!

We're awfully short of cash!

We're bankers who've lost their stash!

Our institution's got the runs!

It's playing havoc with the sums!

...um...um...um-m-m.

 

 (A female banker sweetly changes the tune)

You're such love-ly depositors --

You really are our kind --

You're such love-ly depositors,

Sit back and watch your fortune grow!

Sit back and watch it grow!

 

 (The rest return to firm declarations)

Your bankruptcy's on us!

But our Bankruptcy's on you!

We're whales too big to fail!

So you have to cover our tail!

 

( Pause, as the female banket again changes the tune)

You're such lovely homeowners,

With mortgages to fill.

We'd like to take your homes with us.

We'd love to take your homes!

 

 (The rest)

Yes, we'd rather issue demands

But really do need a hand!

So we'll issue our appeal,

To the man who really steals...

The show, when you have to show!

The assets that cover your ass!

We've come to find him here!

Our savior of the year --

(slowly, with begging hands)

Art...ful...Short...sell-er...

(They trail off...as the orchestra changes tempo to blues/jazz, with snare drums. The Central Banker moves to center stage. He puts his sunglasses on and snaps his fingers. Sings to the tune of Mack the Knife.)

The Shortseller Song

CENTRAL BANKER (His best Bobby Darin Blues)

Oh, Financial sharks,

Prowl the seas, babes.

And they'll feed in --

Market waves.

They have such teeth -- dear!

If you could see them!

They're ru-by, ruby-red.

 

When red ink's spilled

By Cor-po-rate shills--

My-little-darlings don't-you-know!

So much gore is,

On the market floor.

But on Shortseller, there's not the stink, babe

Of all...your -- all your red ink!

Your pension fund --

So you think, dears --

Bought juicy steaks,

With your stake!

Till Artful wields his -- skillful scalpel.

Leaving bare bones, upon your plate.

(Art enters and marches to center stage. Exudes calm as the Central Banker slinks off)

DANCING BANKERS

Artful, Artful, Artful...

The Mean Well Song

ART (he brings the tempo down)

There's no reason for alarm.

Every reason, to be calm.

We're in the eye of every storm,

And here, calm is the norm.

Your problem is but a pimple.

The solution is -- quite simple! 

 (Sways as he sings)

Just mean well, if you mean well,
Then everything will seem well!
If you mean well, then you'll be well,
No one will be mean to you!
If you mean well in all that you do.
They'll never blame you--
When they've been royally screwed...

If you're mean, mean, mean,

You want to be seen as -- well meaning.

 

DANCING BANKERS (With relief)

They can't attack good intentions.

Even when these intentions are...

An...invention.

(swaying while figuring it out) 

If it seems...well,

Like we mean well,

Then the middling mean...that's sits inbetween,

The well-off...and the off-well...

Will think that we're just swell.

(as they dance off-stage)

When we're mean-mean-mean,

No matter how mean we may seem...

If we're all called well-meaning,

Well meaning is how we'll be seeming!

 

ART (calls after them)

Mean-well in all your deeds!

(laughs, to the audience)

For the mean-well

Is a deep well, indeed!

(laughs maniacally)

END OF SCENE

 

The Reel Dancing Bankers

I find Comic Lite-Opera provides the best means of commentary on our various Global Financial Crisis-see, Crisis-sis...Crisis-eye. Anyways, in 2009 I started work on The Prodigals of Penance.

With banks collapsing I'm back at it. The opening number uses "The Dancing Bankers and Contortionists" as the chorus line for Artful Shortseller's production number. So, imagine my surprise when I discover our current GFC features videos of real dancing bankers and contortionists! SVB mimics <i>Glee</i>. I was trying to be a satirist, not a bank examiner! I'm currently struggling with the lyrics for the following song: You will own nothing. You will be happy. Or else. Wait, I think I just finished it. The Dancing Bankers will have their own number, "When the Short Seller Starts his Steal," which will look something like this, only with bankers.

The Prodigals of Penance, the "You got me in stitches" edition

This is Act I, Scene 2  and Scene 3 of The Prodigals of Penance, rewritten for the ages. Scene 1 is here

The lyrics to "Diplomatic Creep" may be sung to the tune of "With Cat Like Tread." Why anyone would want to do that, I would not know.

Setting: The Estate of Artful Shortseller. Art is sponsoring "The World Conference to Solve All Your Problems with One Foul Swipe." Art had his moment center stage. After he departs, others arrive.

Characters:

Sadye "Sad" Poppins (former child activist, now a 18+ one)

Hamlet Omlet: The studier of studies in Shortseller's study. 

EU Leaders (in tuxes and top hats)

BBC Journalists (Pants Suits)

President Cleave

Sec. of State, Tempest Teapot (former Starlet and Yale Drama Major) 

Secretary of the Treasury, and Political Hack, Timothy "Tinny" Tinsmith

Administration Foreign Policy Advisers (Tie-dyed)

U.S. Journalists (They carry pom-poms, and file the same story)

Lawyer/Lobbyists

Scene 2: Europe Gets its Act Together.

As Artful Shortseller and "The Dancing Central Bankers" leave the stage, a sad Poppins enters. 

SAD POPPINS (spoken)

Geez. I wonder. Did Shortseller make his fortune in undergarments?

(Sings and sways) 

My name is Sadye Poppins!

But depressed I am, often.

I'm often depressed

'Cause the world is a mess.

I feel sad, I feel sad,

So-so sad -- often.

So call me sad -- sad, sad. Sad! Poppins.

  (looks)

But Hark, who approaches?

Is he a groper

Or a doper? (looks closer)

Oh, it's Hamlet Om-uh-let.

They say he's quite intellegent.

He has a cute rear...

But his expression is -- severe! (hides)

 

HAMLET OMLET (He calculates as he walks)

In Shortseller's Study,

I write my own study,

That studies...the studies of others. (He ponders)

Whose studies combined,

Bring no peace of mind...

They should be terrific.

Quite scien-tific!

 

But conclusions are often reached,

With a stretch -- sometimes a leap!

Simple arithmetic,

Could cause a science...rift! 

It's very confusing, brother.

My head's a mess, mother.

SAD POPPINS (to the audience)

If he calls me his sister,

His lip will get a blister.

HAMLET OMLET (wanders off)

Shortseller's actions, I fear,

Pour Poison in Science's ear.

Its spirit now haunts me,

Like some mental dis-ease.

The tables been set,

The eggs cracked, and yet,

The Omlets so frantically cooked,

Don't look, or taste, so good.

 

SAD POPPINS (to the audience)

Shortseller has all the bucks.

Hamlet should stay on the bus.

Ride into the dawn,

As Shortseller's fawn.

Then, what the heck,

Just cash the check. 

He's cute,

But a dispute,

Will turn ugly. 

 

HAMLET OMLET

If I fulfill my grant...as they insist...

My granters will be...mighty pissed.

The study performed

Will earn me their scorn. 

I find it very troublesome.

I fear I'm in...trouble...some...

(Hamlet Omlet wanders off) 

SAD POPPINS (spoken)

Gee. He's so depressed, I'm feeling better.

(looks in another direction, sings)

I see a new group approach.
Should I give them a pass...or a reproach?

They seem a well-dressed bunch.
Are they here...to serve us lunch?
Maybe it's food, but Maybe it's theft.
Should I call the guards, or the Chef?

(a line of people approaches from the right)

FIRST IN LINE

I shall eliminate your confusion.

I lead the European Union.

SAD POPPINS

Your union's a sight.

Are you leading a strike?

SECOND IN LINE (shoving the first)

I'm not second on the ladder!

I am also, the leader, who matters.

SAD POPPINS (warming to the cause)

For better pay! (fist shake)

More holidays!

FIRST IN LINE (to the second)

But she can plainly see

That I am in the lead.

I am, the leading -- leader!

THIRD IN LINE

We are all equals here,

Leading from the rear!

Stop the chatter!

There are...No rungs...On! Our ladder.

SECOND IN LINE

No rungs and what is more --

There's no rug upon our floor.

ALL

Or doormats at our door.

Our scoreboards don't keep score,

We live in -- one great crater!

We won't argue -- who's greater.

THIRD IN LINE

It isn't really news,

That we all lead this crew.

SECOND IN LINE

We're ho's without a pimp.

(points)

Except for him!

FOURTH IN LINE

But I'm a leader, too!

FIRST IN LINE (Pointing at four)

He's got me so confused.

Our Union's been abused!

But we can't show him the door...

So just bury him -- in the moor!

FOURTH IN LINE

That would mean war!

We are leaders all,

Unless...

 Our governments should fall.

ALL (To Sad Poppins)

Our ladder has no rungs.

That song's -- been sung.

We're now having a sale,
On everything -- that's stale.

FIRST IN LINE

And leadership is our loss leader!

FOURTH IN LINE (spoken)

We're a fellowship,

That practices follow-ship.

SAD POPPINS (spoken)

So...you're not on strike?

(Sad Poppins is quite confused and leaves while another group enters)

BBC JOURNALISTS (entering)

The Administration is on the March

From Jumbo Jets, they disembark.

It's like they've emptied Noah's ark.

VARIOUS EU LEADERS
Intelligence is what we need.
So we will hide among the trees
...listen from among the leaves.
Ah, BBC!
Watch those poisonous spiders march.
Report their wicked weaves with snark.

The BBC Journalists go to greet the Americans, chanting "Tarantulas! Tarantula, tarantula -- tarantulas!" as they go.

Scene Three: A Simulated Stimulus

As the PRESIDENTIAL ADVISERS enter they whisper amongst themselves:  "Remember, no arrogance! Those lackeys don't like it / Shush, no condescension, that's worse than arrogance! / We need a new song and dance. / Humble--but with newfound pride!"

Trumpets sound and they sing.

WITH DIPLOMATIC CREEP

PRESIDENTIAL ADVISERS

With Diplomatic Creep,

We stride History's Stage.

So shy and meek,

The World Turns, amazed.

Praise we spread in full

Without a boastful word.

We give credit to the Bull,

And the en-tire herd!

EU LEADERS

Like Mister Micawbers 
And in their Wimpy way;
 They'll borrow ten trillion dollars;
And say, "Some Tues-day, we'll re-pay."

BBC JOURNALISTS

Ta-ran-tulas, are spiders too.

And if they bite, then quickly sue.

Trumpets blare. Enter President Cleave, Sec. of State Tempest Teapot, Timothy Tinsmith, U. S. Journalistic Chorus (they double as backup singers), and the lawyer/lobbyist/activist mob.

US JOURNALISTS (pom-poms shaking)

Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra...

 

PRESIDENT CLEAVE

I! Hail! Those who hail me!

Tell European Nations

Of Power abrogation!

EU LEADERS

War non-participation.

Ty-rants claim I’m a tease

As I implore “believe me, please.”

TEMPEST TEAPOT

Friends, speak of piracey,

And Risks to Navigation--

PRESIDENT CLEAVE (injects)

Have you seen my new Playstation?

BOTH (in harmony)

Mar-ry! Free Enterprise
With Socialism in disguise!

(Timothy Tinsmith carries a large bag of goodies, and croons to the lobbyists)

TIMOTHY TINSMITH 

Our national debt is huge,

It's true, 

Because we're indebted to you.
This debt we amass
'cause the past is an ass --

We owe you,
For the wonderful things you do,
And the horrible things, our nation has done.
Admitting -- is not much fun.

EU LEADERS

Much fun!

Confession is good for the soul.

So I'll say it again, quite slow.

It brings me no joy --
There's no need to be coy.
It makes me so sad...
That my nation's be-en-en-en bad.

EU LEADERS

Been so bad!

(Seems to hear an echo)

As the sins trickle down

From father to son

Our grandkids become...

The wet ones.

EU LEADERS

Grandchildren should not escape,

Their great-granddad's mistake.

TIMOTHY TINSMITH

For the mistakes our dads made,
Our grandchildren must pay.

They're in their playpens,
But The National Debt is on them.

EU LEADERS 

At our banquet, we shall toast,

After we've eaten the roast!

Those babies in their strollers,

The toddlers in their walkers...

The kids con-fined in,

Their little play-pens!

Since all our bills are for them.

TIMOTHY TINSMITH (Dances with the lawyers)

Here's your bail-out! And your stimulus money.

Do as you're told — and you’ll get more, Honey!

Your life preserver, please don’t go under.

For if you perish, you'll drown our thunder.

(To all) 

Piracy, should not be on the sea!

EVERYONE

It's an on-shored industry!

 

TIM (Throwing money to the wind; Cossack dancing)

Vary...fiscal...so-briety...

With a little Spending Spree!

EU LEADERS

Spree, Spree, Spree,

Spree, Spree,

Spree, Spree

Spree, Spre-e-e-e!

ALL ADVISERS (Shushing the crowd)

With Tim-o-thy!

We quietly deplore.

Income from Piracy

On Somalia’s shore.

And what about Kim,
Dear Leader’s Rocket Launch?
That’s why we scolded him
And told him “Lose your paunch.”

BBC JOURNALISTS:

Ta-ran-tulas! Are misunderstood.
Ta-ran-tulas! Do the world much good.
So meek-ah-ly, they point the way
That proud bow, is here to stay!

PRESIDENT CLEAVE (bowing)

As! I! approached King Saud.

I lost a contact lens

That's why I got the bends.

I! Told! Old King Saud,

“King, you better watch your step!”

EU LEADERS

Has he told Iran that yet?

PRESIDENTIAL ADVISERS/BBC JOURNALISTS

Our history is / a tarantula’s bite.

We admit that much / just ain't quite right.

We apologize / for trades in Slaves.

And to all those folks / who hide in caves.

We’re sorry for / the Atom bomb.

What Rock and Roll / has done to song.

We! Hail!
Those who hail Us...

EVERYONE

What's caused all the fuss!

 

END OF ACT ONE

US JOURNALISTS
Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra...

Yes, there's more but I'll spare you (for now).

At first, I was concerned that I gave Art's private island a Private International Airport, but then I realized that playing host to so many Global Warming Conferences required one.

The Prodigals of Penance: Comic Lite-Opera Reality

 The Prodigals of Penance, loosely based on Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance, takes place during "The Conference to Solve all the World's Problems in One Foul Swipe," which is held on the Private Island of Artful Shortseller, the wealthiest man in the world.

Art is center stage. He performs. The Central Banker Dancing Contortionists accompany him, much to Art's occasional irritation. The tune is modeled on "I Am the Very Model of the Modern Major General."

ART (Starts slow, speeds up)

I am the very model of the Modern Money Manager
I deal with sums, large and small, put into precise integers.
I do well when we race along and when the world is out of gear.
And when you want to leave the market I'm already out of there.

With theorems econometric and a carefully plotted longitude

You'll find I never give a calculated loss much latitude.
A careful study of my ways will show that that's my attitude.
And while I'll never take your money, I could do it for you, too.

Central Bankers (Kick-dancing)

While he'd never take our money he could do it for us, too!
We've learned this from the careful study of his attitude!

When I find bad apples, I don't throw that fruit away!
Why waste those subprime apples if you can make them pay?
You simply take the bad ones and mix them with the good.
In this way, those "bad apples" will sell better than they should!

I move vast sums from sun to sun from nearly half a world away.
I can buy and sell and do a deal at any time during the day.
In matters econometrical, I've created hedge fund spectacles.
Future earnings "theoretical" sound like profits "piratical."

In matters econometrical, he creates hedge fund spectacles.
His profits "theoretical" sound like bounties "piratical."

(Hand-stands lead to Flip-flops)

Before the Banks went in-the-tank, I speculated in the currencies.
I took advantage of Pound flights and Ministerial in-coherencies.
I made a billion, then another, and flew across the sea.
Where I entertained the pleas...of busted brokers on their knees.

I shelter money from tax loads that might seem quite preposterous
You'd think I'd make a payment that is monstrously --

(a bit perplexed)

Monster-us?

(explaining)

But with the politicians that I legally rent

to produce the tax codes that are legally bent --
After "all" that's bought and sold

And every taxing woe:

(With exuberance)

I've piled up wealth untold!

(Pounding Kettledrums that spray green paint)

He shelters money from great -- tax -- loads.

He loans to Politicians that -- he -- knows.
After "all" he's bought and sold,
And even taxes that he's owed:
He's piled up wealth untold.

(As they bang the drums Art calms them. They got green paint in their eyes)

I dabble now in politics as an artist or gourmet,
With the use of sweets; the use of sticks, as a means to prise my way.
I fund foundations -- academic deviations -- a terrific, Scientific, Tidal Wave!
That will sweep away the old "new world" before I'm in the grave.

The voters who agree with me -- are the most perceptive.

Especially those who agree with me -- when I'm at my most deceptive.

And should you disagree with me, others employ invective.

To win arguments with ease, invective is most -- effective.

(As they mop-up the excess green paint)

He dabbles now in politics and funds many foundations.

He does good acts while acting good, to improve his reputation.
He wants a single bundle to contain every nation,
As he promotes a Scientific Tidal Wave -- an academic mutation --
Meant to make the world anew in every permutation.

(explaining to the bankers)

Cryptos sold by kleptos offer money quick,

But Cryptos sold by kleptos carry quite a risk,

When fortunes made of Cryptos

Quickly end up in the crypt.

(spoken)

But trust me, I am a realist, and reality is my game, for...

(does the soft-shoe)

I am the very Model of the Modern Money Manager.
I deal with sums, large and small, placed into distinct integers.

(picking up the pace)

I do well when we race along and when the world is out of gear.
And when you want to leave a market I'm al-ready

Out! Of! Here!

(The Orchestra suddenly goes wild as he dances off-stage with the Central Bankers.)

Scene 2 and 3 can be found here