The Belmont Club: Disinformation
Dear Mr. Ram,
I heard at work the other day that Barack Obama is a Muslim. Is Sen. Obama really a Muslim? I ask you because I know you will give it to me straight.
I heard it at an OPEC meeting where "Mo'hammer" Quadhafi was MC. He kept going on and on about how Obama's a Muslim and will not get a square deal in the election. And to get elected he'll be a bigger Zionist than Ben-Gurion and act more white than a albino Laplander. I also heard his mentor is one crazy communist, which sounded good. I asked what a "mentor" is and was told a mentor is a person's grandmother who is at the same time his mother's mother, which I didn't even think was possible! Could it be some sort of, I don't know, sign? Could it be a virgin birth type thing, because I do not think that communists make babies. Or is that just in Russia?
Also, Mo said when Sen. Obama is President the USA will take over the oily oil companies and then dominate OPEC because the Democrats keep more crude off the market than any old dictator. Mr. Ram, they are taunting us! Saying we owe them big. That we'd be nothing without them! We'd get hardly no money for our honey if America drilled. Drill in Alaska, Mr. Ram, and you drill us.
Also, if the USA joins OPEC, does that mean we will have to open our meetings to those liars at the New York Times? And rely on LGF to protect our honor? Geez, this is crazier than Russia joining NATO.
So Mr. Ram, please to inform!
1) Is Barack a Muslim?
2) Is his crazy mentor-mother a commie?
3) Will he bring the USA into OPEC and make the rest of us Tyrants look like egg sucking Munchkins by comparison?
Yours sincerely,
Confused in Caracas
Dear confused,
You are an idiot! Your friend "Mo'hammer MC" is an idiot! However, I do support you in your quest to rid us of the Sulfurous smelling swine in the White House. He is, as I am sure you are aware, an idiot! But he don't even believe Barack Obama is a Muslim! Idiot!
Yours,
Ken "The Doll" Ram
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