This got me thinking: what I would like to see are impossible lies attacked. Excuse me: "impossible" "lies" "attacked."
Meanwhile, I'm wondering if The Onion has taken over The Asia Times Online. I can handle their over-the-top anti-Americanism (it does take practice) but lately some of their stuff is just wacky. John Feffer writes:
The global economy is reeling from the triple whammy of soaring energy and food prices and extreme weather stress, and as long as policymakers don't address all three of these trends as one major crisis, it could get a whole lot worse. Just ask North Korea, which in the 1990s was the world's canary. The famine there that killed as much as 10% of the population was a harbinger of the crisis that now grips the globe - though few saw it that way at the time.
Few? I say, "Name one."
That would be The Democratic People's Republic of Korea (affectionately known as the "Norks") acting as the "World Canary" in the "One World Coal Mine." I thought we had gotten rid of them coal mining canaries but I forgot about Socialism.
So. Let's see. How would this work? The North Korean canary flies deep into the One World Coal Mine and thence into a cage. Once Upon its perch, it closes and locks the gate. Later, the mine collapses on account of the commissar cat, fat in his plush office, deciding to save money and exceed the quota by not shoring up the roof.
The Canary cage gets smashed in the collapse and the gate springs open. The canary flies out of the cage and through the coal catacombs to the outside air. It lays on a sunny hillside puking black slime out of its little lungs. Then the commissar cat sees it. The canary drags its little darling self towards another mine entrance. At the last moment -- just before it becomes "famine fried chicken" in the commissar kitchen -- it flaps its little wings and flies into the mine just ahead of the power puss! Other canaries watch, and figure coal mines are the place to be if you want to get away from official cats.
They find coal mines of their own and fly in -- but it is all the same coal mine because it is the One World Coal Mine with diverse entrances. And inside the mine, they find cages with gates to lock behind them that will keep away stray cats. So years on, the "World Coal Mine" will be filled with "World Canaries" locked in their little "One World Cages" lit by dim and distant fluorescent. They count the minutes and breath recycled air while dreaming that the roof will cave in.
Actually, it is starting to make sense. Mr. Feffer, you are a genius.
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