The Gang of Qin Gang

 Chinese Economy: ‘Shocking’ New Reports | Qin Gang Update | Huawei & iPhone

This morning I educated myself on the latest goings-on in China -- which apparently involves a gang. I was eating my cereal and wiping a bit of milk from my chin when I heard about Chin, apparently the leader of the gang, and also something about a gong.

The Chin Gang made me think of the Gang of Four, who were a big deal when Mao left for his appointment in hell. How do I know they were a big deal? I heard of them. If I remember correctly, it involved Mao's widow -- a former cabaret singer -- plus some other guys grabbing for power. Now, a dying dictator's floozie wife wanting to take over is not unknown (think Evita! or Doctor Jill!). Unfortunately for the conspirators, minions who can watch millions starve under incompetent leadership are stirred to action when their own lunch is threatened. So the Gang of Four became the Grateful Dead (them not being the Grateful ones) instead of the Grand and Glorious Leaders.

Which brings us to that nefarious group, the Chin Gang. After dealing with my chin milk I listen.  It was about Qin Gang (pronounced tch-in g-uh-ng by the Mandarin-speaking, New Zealander show-off reporter).  So it was the g-uh-ng of Qin G-uh-ng? No, it's just a simple sex scandal -- only sex scandals are never simple (otherwise it wouldn't be a scandal). It happened in Washington DC!  Qin was China's ambassador to the USA whose mistress was a Chinese journalist! All our floozies are now journalists! Strippers should sue!

Qin gets such favorable coverage from under the covers that he returns to China and is promoted. Only sex scandal! FBI bugs are in the expensive sheets! His journalist babe had his baby -- an American baby (it's a club anyone can join). Qin disappears to spend more time with his family -- maybe in a prison camp, maybe in the cemetery: ask not for whom the g-uh-ng tolls, it tolls for Gang.

As for the Chinese Economy tanking, who cares?  Sex Scandal!