More Lite than Light!

During the first Obama/Biden administration I decided light opera was the best format for commentary. With music and song, it would float above the mess the way those mountains in Avatar float above planet Pandora. So this Opera will not just be light, it’ll be anti-gravity: No matter how grave the situation, it will be anti-the-gravity of the situation.

The Opera is set on the island estate of the multi-billionaire Artful Shortseller. Art hosts “The International Conference to Solve All the World's Problems with One Foul Swipe.” What is the foul swipe, you ask? Sorry, you are not supposed to ask and I'm not allowed to answer.

It starts with a big production number. The new President's team marches through the gates like parading Olympic athletes planning to disrespect the flag. As they enter they sing:

The DC Press Corps and Officials

With Diplomatic Creep,
We cross History’s Stage.
Both shy and meek
As The World Turns, amazed.

Praise we spread in full,
Without a boastful word,
We give credit to our Bull,
Not just the nagging herd!

President Biden

(Wanders about as he mumbles):

Salute the Marines, Mr. Jill Biden. Salute. What.

(Bumps into the scenery; Consults his mePad; begins to sing.)

Like a mentally stable-man
World leaders, I’ll approach.
One I’ll treat like a door-man,
as I deliver my reproach.
But them that Trump has cowed,
I’ll look squarely in the knees!
As I offer a gracious bow,
And sincere apollo-gee.

Hail, hell! What do I do next? 

(Checks pad) 

"Tell European Nations
Of Power abrogations!"
But Poo-tin calls me a tease.
So I’ll implore “believe me, please!”

I call this number, “History Brought to Boil by a Cracked Pot.”

At the center of Art’s estate is “The Mean-Well.” This is a deep well, as well as a mean well. For some mysterious reason, well-meaning people (mostly voters) get sucked in, fall past the mean, and even plunge below average, which drags down the average, causing the mean to become even meaner. These folks don't mean to be mean, they mean to be equitable. What is the powerful attractive force of the Mean-Well? Could it be the mean-welling of the Mean-Well?

Actually, the attractive force is the fabled Lost Thirteenth Law of an Admired Marxist (choose one). This lost law is forty thousand pages of progressive legislation that, if adopted in its entirety, will yield the forty million pages of regulation that will, in the end, make all this stuff work. The Thirteenth Law was typed before white-out, back when progressives didn’t make mistakes. However, it has been rewritten by AIs (Artificial Intellectuals) using out-white (and there’s a lot of that in it).

Thank dog this is a work of fiction.

The Opera needs a love story but not to worry: with so many malignant narcissists involved, it has lots of love stories.

Invention Prevention

When I was a boy watching WWII submarine dramas, I came up with the idea for a submarine that pushed itself forward by taking in water at the front and pumping it from the rear. In a stroke of genius, I decided to use the water coming in the front of the sub to turn the turbines that would power the pumps that pushed the water out the back. Sure, it would need a bit of a push to get going, but after that you're good.

I got really excited about the idea because I thought it might have applications in the cold war. I told my father so he could maybe call President Eisenhower. My dad said I had just invented a “perpetual motion” machine. Upon hearing this I swelled with pride. I said, "Gosh, golly, gee! I have barely achieved the age of reason and already I've invented a perpetual motion machine! How awesome is that! I'm like the Mozart – whoever that is – of Machine Inventors."

Then my father explained the scientific consensus of the day (thank god that’s changed). There I was, not yet a youth, and I came face to face with my own logical fallacy -- not someone else's, mind you (this happens quite a lot) but my own. Back then we didn't protect our children from such events.

The fact that physics could interfere with a rich fantasy life kinda turned me off on that whole course of study (I should have gone into central banking, where making something from nothing is central to the entire process).

Plan "B" from outer space

 Salvation is a TV series on Amazon Prime. The first season is free.  I'm watching because it's not that good, so when they start charging I'll stop watching. It's kinda like when you are beating your head against the wall, and someone says if you keep doing that you are going to have to pay for the damage, so you stop. 

Here's the plot summary. The earth's in trouble. Again. An asteroid will destroy the planet in six months unless humanity destroys it (Planet Earth) first. Granted, that's a tight time frame for man-caused planetary destruction (it's OK to use "man" in this context) but doable. So the asteroid is actually "plan B from Outerspace."

It's the size of Washington DC and will impact Washington, DC, which sounds good until you see the simulation: the entire surface of the planet turns into molten lava! OMG, not even a dinosaur could survive that! There's always hope, though.

Hope, in this case, is a deep space probe out by Jupiter that can be redirected to crash into the asteroid. This is like a bullet hitting a bullet, with one bullet being the approximate size of an empty tin can and the other being the approximate size of a fully ladened supertanker. But, if you take into consideration their high speeds and something called "inertial mass," which has something to do with something called physics, then the Asteroid breaks apart and the resulting impact no longer destroys the entire planet or kills all 12 billion of us (and our pets). Instead, the pieces miss Washington D.C. and hit Beijing and Moscow, killing 1.1 billion of those people (and their pets). When this possible outcome is described at a Pentagon meeting, everyone goes hmm at the same time. They decide on this collision course. Unfortunately, there are many collision courses! 

President Biden is totally out of the loop and uninvolved, as you might expect.  They could have had Martin Sheen play him (he's old enough) if only there were a believable plot device like his getting briefed. His absence is explained in episode six when he's referred to as a "she." Apparently,  he begins self-identifying as a woman because that description is easier to believe than honest, moderate, and competent. Also, he can now freely sniff women's hair because a woman can do that to another woman, can't she?

During this period of Presidential transition,  government agents and billionaires do what they want with government resources. This is quite realistic but they should call it "infrastructure spending." Also, the deep state is deeply sinister. That's the sort of portrayal that annoyed me ten years ago, but these days, not-so-much (thank you, James Clapper and John Brennan).