Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Song for All Time.

I started work on a production number for Belmont Club (The Musical), inspired by this post from Wretchard, The pits (the song, with a bit of opening dialog, follow):
Comments in some of the most recent Belmont Club posts have been haunted by what Scott Johnson and Victor Davis Hanson have called depression. No longer do people put forward solutions as much as despair of solutions until the prevailing conditions change or the national mood shifts. Afghanistan? Well it’s no good discussing it until someone serious is in office. The economy? We’re all doomed so let’s just measure the rate of our decline...

What probably keeps the world from being hijacked by the melancholy of intellectuals are its ordinary people. The world’s sanity is upheld by people who haven’t watched the movies and haven’t attended Harvard. The BBC reported a survey showed that Nigerians were the happiest people in the world.
I am not depressed nor do I feel despair. What is my secret? I just whistle. Whistle? Yes, whistle.

Just whistle while you walk
Do-dee do, do, do, do, do!
Just whistle while you walk,
Pass the graveyard.
(Pass the graveyard)

Should you find you're in despair
Because you're totally aware.
Go ahead, just deny.
Live life on the fly and whistle
Pass the graveyard.

If you find you’re feeling blue
’cause work no longer needs you.
After you’re laid off
Just whistle as you walk!
Pass the graveyard.

If you were a Nigerian
You’d be happy just to own a hen.
And when the militias came
if you weren’t the ball in some game.
At the graveyard.
(In the graveyard)

If there’s a planetary war
And you’re terrified to the core.
Just put on your boots and do skidoot
And whistle! Yes Whistle.
Passed the graveyard!

They say VX is a gas
And it will really kill you fast.
Don’t argue it ain't fair
Just spit out your cares...

Lay your cards on the table
And whistle (if you're able)...

OK...

Say you're dead and just don't know!
Then continue with the flow.
And Go!
Past, the Graveyard!
(Get Past, the Graveyard)
(Done with Rockette style kicks)
Turn your Depression upside down
Wear a smile, hardly ever frown!
Do as we do and whoop-we-doo
And whistle! Yes, whistle.
Past the graveyard.

Do-dee Doo-doo do!

I'm thinking this could be a duet between a Basso profundo and an Alto, tremble-a-lot oh, my. It should be sung to the tune of, well, ah, Stairway to Heaven.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Who wants to buy a Toxic Asset!

Pajamas Media » Geithner Bank Plan: A ‘Third Way’

I left the following as a comment to the above article.
I think they should turn it into a game show: Who Wants to Buy a Toxic Asset.

You show up with a bundle of “toxic” assets and it is valued by, say, ten groups of money men who are fronted by sexy models. But the first step is “Government roulette.” A wheel is spun, and purely by chance the government will offer you anything from 10 cents on the dollar to, say, 60 cents on the dollar (about a hundred to one shot for the high amount).

If you refuse the government offer, you then get to choose among the boxes that contain the offer of the various money men. You open the first three boxes at random. You get to choose the highest bid. If you open the next five, you get to choose the second highest bid but it is bought by the highest bidder. If you open the next two, you get the highest bid and the highest bidder buys it. But once you decide there, is no going back.

You might need the contestant to spin the wheel a few more times, and have cheering Wall Street types shouting advice. You know, to help the ratings.
My comment is awaiting moderation, and the moderator may be a moderate and decide not to post it so I put it here. The article explains why the Geithner plan might "actually work."
 
My plan definitely will work.



Sunday, March 22, 2009

Setting the Record Straight

The Death of Catherine the Great
The Myths:
1. Catherine was crushed to death by a horse whilst attempting to have sex with it (usually the collapse of a harness/lifting mechanism is blamed).
2. Catherine died on the toilet.

The Truth (1):
Catherine died in bed of illness; there were no equines involved and a Catherine/horse nexus was never attempted.
I was once told the horse, harness, hoist and collapsing scaffolding story by a person with a graduate degree in European history. I did voice skepticism at the time. But it is a good story and just in case I ever passed it on I want to set the record straight here: Catherine the Great died while having sex with a horse. I mean didn't die. Having sex. With a horse.

The Vanity Fairness Doctrine

According to Michael Wolff, Barack Obama Is a Terrible...Bore
What happens when you move into the White House?

Well, shit, of course. The true secret of the power of language is in quickness. Barack Obama can’t keep up. He evidently needs too much preparation. And then there’s the organization. He’s undoubtedly got too many people debating what he should say. That’s the other secret of language: You’ve got to just go for it. Can’t think too much about it. It’s like hitting the ball. And then there’s knowing who you want to be—which is different than knowing who you are. You’re on the stage. You’re acting. You’ve got to make yourself believable, cleverly make yourself up as you go along.

This guy is leaden and this show is in trouble.
Yes, Michael, but what is it that he is actually doing that you don't like? I gather it ain't the dumb things he is doing, it is the fact that he sounds dumb when he talks about the dumb things he's doing.

As for his present presentation, President Obama showed all the qualities you now abhor during The Campaign, astute observer person.

Mr. Wolff is a contributing Editor to Vanity Fair. I wonder who he supported in the fall?

Rifling through the archives, I stumbled across what he said about Sarah Palin just before the election:

Sarah Palin, bedeviling her handlers, isn't the nail in the heart of the McCain campaign as much as she is the creation of a new American personality.

Her failure is a huge success. There is enormous upside in finding yourself a national joke. Ridicule converts easily to affection.
If Michael keeps ridiculing Obama, I will develop a true affection for the guy. The only question is: Which guy?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Taking the Pressure off Tehran

BBC NEWS | Americas | Obama offers Iran 'new beginning'
US President Barack Obama has offered "a new beginning" of engagement with Tehran in an unprecedented direct video message to the Iranian people...

In it, President Obama said he wanted "to speak directly to the people and leaders of the Islamic Republic of Iran".
So President Obama is now engaged with the Mullahs. When will the marriage take Place? Obama's dowry: more or less telling the Iranian people he will not support a revolution against their newly legitimized government -- about the only thing that government really fears. Bonus item: the always rickety sanctions regime will collapse well before the marriage is consummated. And the Mullahs will abuse their lovely spouse and cheat -- and when he finds out he won't like it!

If his policy is to get the Russians to play the heavy with Tehran while the "O" makes nice, I don't see it working.

This engagement with the Mullahs also announces that a bunch of naive punks are going to engage in Middle East "realpolitik" and make nice-nice to all the local toughs. America, prepare to have your lunch money stolen and your nose bloodied.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Think Sink

Obama: Economic crisis 'not as bad as we think'
"And my long-term projections are highly optimistic, if we take care of some of these long-term structural problems."
What Mr. Obama is saying here is that he has to put the structural problems, such as socialized health care, in place before he can take care of them. But he will also have to hire the bureaucrats to care for the structural problems. Think of "Affordable housing." The Democrats created the structural problem, cared for it, kept it on life support and dialysis and even now won't let it die. They now got it to the point where you can't afford your house, but the people who don't have to pay their mortgages can -- now that it is worth half what you paid for it.

Before the structural problem could get that acute it required a lot of care and feeding by Congressional Democrats. But that structural problem should not be worried. Its "care givers" will still be at work when everyone else is laid off.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thought Thaw Needed

BBC NEWS | Science & Environment | Earth warming faster than thought

Easy to believe the headline: their thoughts are frozen in place. "Give us power or give us a better retirement package! In fact give us both."

This from the Danish PM, Foghorn Leghorn Rasmussen: "Business as usual is dead - green growth is the answer to both our climate and economic problems."

Actually, they murdered business in a regulatory killing spree.  Government as usual, however, is bigger and better -- make that bigger and bigger -- than ever.  And ever is mighty big.

Don't worry, once the bureaucrats take over the world economy everything will be hunky-dory. For them.